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By Lee Torrey
Opinion Columnist - Creator of the "MATRIMONY MATTERS" Series.
Thank the Goodt Lordt I'm not in the dating pool anymore. I feel sorry for y'all while disgusted by you at the SAME DANG TIME.
Because y'all don't know how to act.
None-a-yall, the men or the women.
I don't know why y'all even deal with each other no more because it's all smoke and mirrors...
...trying to game and get over on one another, then sitting at home lonely wondering when you're gonna fool somebody into spending 3-6 months with you again, so that you can be fake happy for likes and post soon-to-be-deleted #relationshipgoals pictures on Instagram again.
You can't or won't let your mate see your phone...
The big question is.... WHY?
When we determine WHY your girlfriend or even WIFE(for some) can't see your phone, we'll know where you're failing as a mate.
What is there to hide, when YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE?
I'm not saying that a woman should just have the right to keep requesting your phone over and over again just to check on you.
In fact, my wife has NEVER requested my phone just to go through it because of mistrust. I've never done it to her either.
But, because we have a life together, there comes a time when she asks to see or use my phone for some specific reason, and vice-versa.
And over nearly a decade together, neither of us, EVEN ONCE has hesitated to hand over our phone.
We have NOTHING TO HIDE.
That's how it is when you treat your spouse the way you want to be treated whether your actions are in front of them or out of their sight.
Now, before somebody gets mad and thinks I'm automatically accusing them of cheating because they don't want to show their phone...
I'M NOT saying that.
Although that is one of the guilty actions that causes some to want to hide guard their phones, that's not the only problem that could have a person putting a death-grip on their phone.
Let's talk about it...
There are various ways to disrespect, decieve and betray your spouse and it's not always cheating on them, although that's the BIGGEST relationship killer.
Here are some things that bad spouses do, yet, may not want you to see proof of...
These are usually the main reasons why your mate is sitting their looking stupid, wondering how to get out of handing over their phone.
One thing that really makes me love my wife is that she doesn't put her friends or family in our personal business.
She sees me as her team before ANYBODY else, so even if we have some temporary beef or argument, she's not running to tell her mama about how wrong I am, and I'm not talking to my friends or family about how wrong she is.
That brings earns a trust that I can't even explain. Plus, we never have a paper trail of texts or DMs where we are talking trash about each other.
Look... I FULLY understand a guy wanting some level of privacy and even wanting the respect of not having his woman ask for his phone for the sole purpose of checking on him...
...nobody likes to be treated like a suspect.
So, what a man needs to ask himself is...
AM I ACTING LIKE A SUSPECT?
Being in a dedicated relationship with a woman is more than just "claiming" a woman, being with her physically and calling her "babe".
It's also about paying attention to her need for security within the relationship and validation from you.
So, while it's true that some women are just nuts and will never trust even the best man on earth.
From what I've observed of couples I've known over the 40+ years of my life is that in most cases when a woman has major doubts about her man, it's because of something he's doing.
Here are some ways the guys weaken a woman's trust in him:
The funny part about being in a long-term relationship like marriage is that you can only hide who you are for so long.
You may as well try your best to BE THE TYPE OF PERSON who you'd like your mate to be for you.
That way, you establish a track record of trustworthiness.
When you tell the truth to others even when it's difficult, she'll see that, respect you more and register that deep in the back of her subconscious.
She will trust you because you ARE TRUSTWORTHY.